Thursday, March 31, 2005


I may come across as a very non sensitive person after this question, but I have to ask. Does anyone else think it is ironic that Terri Schiavo died from her feeding tube being taken out after her heart stopped years ago from a chemical imbalance brought on by her eating disorder?

I am not trying to be mean. I was just wondering.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


This is why I want my child to go to college someday. Who said everything you needed to know, you learned in kindergarten?

Do you think kids are starting to send their ACT and SAT scores to the schools they know have the best shot at getting them into porn?


I am calling that Anwar goes home tonight on American Idol.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Just A Thought

Don't you just love taking a shower? It is a great thing. In fact, I even like the word shower. The word alone just sounds clean. This morning while I was showering surrounded by my wifes hundreds of soaps, shampoos, conditioners, and other products a thought occured to me. If they can come up with all of these different scents for women, why can't they come up with some for men? As I looked around my bathroom and house I could see soaps, lotions, candles, and other products all made for females. Why can't men get some soaps, lotions, and candles in the scents that we really enjoy?

Here were some of my ideas...
1. Freshly cut grass
2. Steak and Potatoes
3. The way it smells on a crisp Saturday afternoon during the College Football season
(guys know what I am talking about)
4. A freshly poured beer

What do you think? Which scents would you add?

Monday, March 28, 2005

My Weekend

This was one of the worst weekends I have had in a long time. It was a good day yesterday being with family, but I was sick and couldn't really enjoy myself. Here is how the weekend went down.

After working the day with my head about to blow off from a headache, my nose so stuffed I couldn't breathe, and a fever of 101, I finally got out of the office a little after 5. When I arrived home I find my wife crying on the phone and already in her pajamas. She says she is depressed because she has no friends yet in St. Louis. Now I do feel bad for her, but it is hard at times because I don't see her making any attempt to make friends. Friends don't just knock on your door and say, "Hi, I'd like to be your friend". Anyways, my wife was in a bad mood all Friday night, we argued, and I laid in bed and watched TV. Great Friday night.

I woke up and still had my headache, fever, and my eyes watering so bad it looked like I was crying my eyes out. I had received some money for my birthday and wanted to go get some softball gear, and my wife had some stuff she wanted to return at the mall. My wife is also getting ready to go on vacation to Florida (yes, without me) with some of her friends so she was wanting to get some stuff for trip as well. So we headed out, and first stopped for some eats at the Cracker Barrel.
When we got to the mall everything was fine for a little while, but then it all fell apart. Let me break it down. We had agreed that my wife had $100 to spend to get a few things for the trip, but after she had spent that $100, she believed she could get more. Needless to say that did not set well with me. Arguing about money is the best. So we left the mall, and went home in silence not speaking for a little while. After the storm blew over I got to end my incredible day coloring Easter eggs. If that doesn't bring out the testosterone in you, I don't know what will. The only saving grace was that I got to watch the tourney while we dyed the eggs.

We tried a new church, and it was a great one. That was a good thing. We then had a great meal over at my Dad's house. However, I was feeling so sick I really couldn't enjoy myself. It was good to see everyone and be able to chat, but it would have been nice to not feel so horrible.

Today has been a little better because I am starting to feel better. However, the first email I received this morning was from a friend who had just broken off his engagement. That is a bummer. I am guessing I don't feel as bad as he or his girlfriend do. Things will get married.

Here is to being married. Even though it is hard at times, it is the greatest thing in the world. Here is to March Madness, even though my Duke Blue Devils turned the ball over like 20 times and lost. Here is to horrible weekends. Here is to arguing about money. It is the best.

If you have any ideas about what I should write about, please let me know. If you want my opinion on something, just leave it under the comments and I will see what I can come up with. I have writer's block.


Sunday, March 27, 2005

Good News

Friday has gone. Saturday has passed. It's Sunday. It's Easter Sunday.

Christ has risen. Christ has risen indeed.

Friday, March 25, 2005

Keeping It Real

I know this post is not going to be an exciting one, and probably won't attract a lot of comments, but I have to keep it real and be myself. So here it is...

Today is Good Friday. Think about what Christ did for you today and say thanks.

John 3:16-For God so loved the world, that he gave up his only son, and whoever believes in him shall have eternal life.

That is the good news my friends.

Sunday is coming!

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Love Is The Killer App

After reading "Love Is The Killer App" for the third time I thought that I would post something about it and encourage everyone to go out and buy this book. It is written by Tim Sanders who is the chief Solutions Officer at Yahoo!. Sanders also consults with Fortune 500 executives and world-class brands on marketing and Internet strategies. I saw him speak at a Leadership Conference and he blew my mind.

"Love Is The Killer App" is a great book, and a pretty easy read on how to win business, influence colleagues, and make friends. It has really made me look at how I treat others and relate to people within the business world. I have told my coworkers, friends, and family about this book as well. It is the real deal.

Listen to what others have said...

"Sander's joy is infectious...Love Is the Killer App-trendy and smart, full of bits of advice and analysis-rings fresh, digitized business changes on that old-fashioned love song."
-Boston Globe

"This clever, creative, yet immensely practical book beautifully illustrates Carl Rogers's profound insight, 'That which is most personal is most general.'"
-Dr. Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of
Highly Effective People

"Tim Sander's message that compassion in leadership is the key to success couldn't have arrived at a better time in the history of American business. This is an invaluable book; every manager should read it, study it, and the pass it along to a colleague he cares about."
-Ken Blanchard, coauthor of The One Minute

Some of you be asking what a killer app is. Sander's describes it as this, "it's an excellent new idea that either supersedes an existing idea or establishes a new category in its field. It soon becomes so popular that it devastates the original business model." He then goes on to explain that "love" is that killer app. He challenges us to become a "lovecat". That means offering your wisdom freely, giving away your address book and contacts to everyone who wants it, and always being human. The three necessary steps to getting there are: sharing your knowledge, sharing your network, and sharing compassion.

In the course of the book he challenges us to read more. Read everything you can get your hands on that pertains to your field, and stuff outside your field as well. Sander's says we should, "become a walking encyclopedia of answers for anyone who has questions". So since I have read this book, I have been reading more, been trying to share my contacts more, and have become more compassionate around the workplace.

I can't do this book justice by just writing about it. Just trust me, and go buy the book today. It is worth the money, and will change your life.

Be a lovecat.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Tube Or No Tube? That Is The Question!

Give me your opinions! Ready. Set. Go.

This Week On American Idol

Hold up. Not so fast. It looks as though there was a mistake with the voting, so the contestants will get a second chance at reaching their dreams.

My opinion is Mikalah Gordon is going home. It's too bad because she has a great personality and some charm, but the vocal wasn't there last night. Anthony should be going home, but he has too large of female fan base. Nikko Smith and Carrie Underwood got loose last night.

Bastron out.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Pierce College Photo Shoot Posted by Hello

Let's Play Ball,1413,200~20954~2769592,00.html

Students at Pierce College in the San Fernando Valley, were bent that the school rented out its baseball field to the Spice Channel so they could shoot a promotional video for their porn. The school, which is strapped for cash, made $5,000 by letting them film a promotional video on their baseball field. The shoot didn’t have any actual pornography in it, just skanks and dirtballs in “provocative attire”. Oh, okay. I guess that makes it ok? Look, you may need cash, and I understand that's a powerful motivator, but they're porn freaks. Think this through all the way. Sure, you get five grand and that's a nice piece of coin, but how much of that are you going to have left after you have to clean everything up after they leave? $10, maybe $20? Think about it. The second they leave, you're going to have to bulldoze the field and get the hazmat team out there. What, are you going to let your players go out to the mound and use the same rubber that some filthy porn skank was just standing on? Of course not! It’s a public health issue. You are going to have to replace the dugouts. Who knows what those people would bring in and leave all over the dugout benches. Those need to go. You are going to need to re-seed the infield. You are going to have to buy new bases. If one of those guys touches a bag, then it's ruined forever. Sure, you got a check for $5,000, but how many doctors visits are your players going to have to make as a result. Pierce president Tom Oliver said, “If we knew they were going to do something pornographic, we should say no. We have said no to a couple of shoots before. Photography is one thing, but when you get multiple people involved, when you co-mingle people, that’s not art.” Thanks Tom. I appreciate you breaking down when smut becomes porn. I appreciate it. Co-mingling? What’s that, Pierce College's code for no gang bangs?

Monday, March 21, 2005

Minnesota High School Basketball

This was sent to me from my friend Jeremy. He was at the game and said the place exploded when this happened. I just wanted to share it with everyone. So let me set the stage...

Hopkins was playing Eastview and Hopkins got up by 16 in the first half. This kid Blake H., a sophomore at Hopkins was unconscious from 3-pts…I think he hit 5 tres in the first half. Anyways, Eastview battles back and actually takes the lead late in the fourth quarter. With about 8 seconds left in the game and Eastview up 3, the kid from Hopkins comes down and cashes a 3 from about a foot behind the NBA line…sends the game into OT.

In OT, they go back and forth and with about 2.5 seconds Eastview scores on a put back to put them up 2. Then it gets crazy…this shot sent it into a second OT where Hopkins eventually went on to win.

(watch this clip IT IS WORTH IT…it shows what happens from a couple of different angles…there is a commercial thing at the beginning, so be patient)

Just so you all know this was the #1 play on ESPN last night for plays of the week…it was crazy and the place was going nuts…I was going nuts…actually I was standing there trying to actually believe what just happened.

Here is another great thing…the kid who hit the shot…his girlfriend was sitting in front of us with a friend and her mom…after he hit the shot…the friend turns to his girlfriend and says “Don’t ever break up with him” hahahahahahah classic…

Thursday, March 17, 2005

One Shining Moment

Since today is the opening day of the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament I thought I would share my "One Shining Moment" of the NCAA tourney we like to call March Madness. It went a little something like this...

Let me set the stage...the year was 1995.

UCLA came into the 1995 NCAA Tournament ranked #1, but didn't get a lot of respect from the East-coast-biased media. Repeatedly during the tournament, commentators would question whether UCLA could run with Connecticut or bang with Arkansas. In each game, the Bruins proved themselves worthy of their ranking. In the championship game, they survived Arkansas' vaunted 90 feet of hell to win 89-78. However, that was not the impressive part. What was impressive happened during that game.

During the game, one of the many time outs was taken, and the broadcast got ready to go to commercial. The cameras panned over to the UCLA cheerleaders, and that is when it happened. One of the cheerleaders, who was a smoking hot blonde girl blew the minds of millions within just a few seconds. Who knows if she had someone dare her to do it or not, but who really cares. The girl shook her boobs with such veracity that her UCLA sweater shook like it was in the middle of a hurricane. This girl was stacked like Pamela Anderson. It was a great moment.

The first thing I did was grab the phone and call my friend Chris. He knew exactly what I was calling about. In fact the first words out of his mouth were, "I already know why you are calling". We both sat and talked about it for 15 minutes. Not to mention I was doing this with my girlfriend at that time sitting right next to me. It didn't matter, that moment had to be talked about.

So this goes out to the UCLA cheeleader whoever you are. You are forever etched in my mind and the mind of my friend Chris. Thanks for the memory and that "One Shining Moment". Shake it like a Polaroid picture.

So to all you ladies out there. A lesson can be learned from this pretty little thing out of UCLA. Shake them if you've got them.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Who's Going Home This Week?

My American Idol prediction for who is going home this week is Anthony Fedorov.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Get'er Done

Here is a great story that happen at my workplace...

In our office there is a bathroom in the back of our office. Most people go to the bathroom up front, but once in a while people will escape to the back bathroom. The other day someone clogged the back bathroom with a big fat dookie and it was down for a couple of days. Of course the office is staffed with all males, so we are all too lazy to plunge the toilet. This may be because we don't own a plunger, but of course we are too lazy to go and buy one.

So the other day we have a big guy come into the office and he goes back to the bathroom without anyone knowing. All of a sudden he comes back into the office and asks if anyone has a mop because he has a problem. A guy in our office named Matt says "Hey don't go to the bathroom back there, it is clogged up." The guy turns and says, "Not anymore."

We all looked at eachother in amazement. Matt says, "What do you mean it is not clogged?" The guy says, "Well, I was taking a crapper, I flushed, and the next thing I knew we were about to have a problem. So I rolled up the sleeve and stuck my hand in and GOT'ER DONE."

We all busted into laughter because we have never seen anything so or stupid. It is a great moment, and ranks among the top 10 moments ever in the office.

Here is to the Human Plunger.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Bracket Invitation

If you would like to be a part of my online bracket challenge please just leave your email address in the comment section and I will email you an invite to our bracket group.

Mario Vazquez

Mario Vazquez withdrew from American Idol on Sunday citing "personal reasons" with no other details available. This has thrown all of my predictions for American Idol into a tailspin. Mario was one of the contestants I believed would make the final three.

This brings back Nikko Smith who I thought should have never gone home in the first place. This could be the just the break Nikko needed. We will see if America let's him stay around for awhile.

Will we ever see or hear from Mario Vazquez again?


Today all across the country there are offices, friends, and families passing around NCAA brackets. It is what we like to call March Madness. There will people spending hours of time analyzing and then over analyzing their choices. There will be trash talking and people explaining why they know the 13 seed is always a dangerous seed to look out for. However, the thing that really is great to watch is the majority of women that fill out the brackets. The sad thing is, is that they usually win the stupid things. You will have girls making their picks based on who they think has the best colors in the team's uniforms or what city or state they like best. However, in my experience with these brackets...that crap usually works.

March Madness is a great time. You have all of these little schools going into the tournament just hoping that their foot fits into Cinderalla's glass slipper. There will be buzzer beaters. There will be kids giving their performances of a lifetime. There will be heartbreak.

I don't have my bracket completed just yet. I have many hours of work to do before that happens. I am still trying to figure out if my alma mater, the University of Northern Iowa is going to pull of a first round victory. By the way did anyone notice that all 3 state schools in Iowa made the tourney? However, when it is all completed I will one of the many who thinks my bracket is the winner. I will sit back and watch the games, only to be shown that my brackets suck once again.

Catch the fever. It's MARCH MADNESS BABY!

Thursday, March 10, 2005

The Bathroom

As I sat in the bathroom today trying to work through some writers block and dealing with some other blockage of my own, I finally got some clarity as to what I should write about next. Why not just write about some thoughts and questions I have about bathrooms?

This may be disgusting to some of you, and if it is I apoligize. The only thing I can say to you, is sorry and that you should probably quit being so anal. Here are a couple of my thoughts about bathrooms.

1. Why do they usually position the toilet in the direction of the mirror? Who wants to look at themselves while they are taking a dookie? I mean, are there people out there that are vain enough to think, "Damn, I look good on this thing while I crap". Do people really sit there and fix their hair while they are sitting?

To me this is a very concept, and I am glad that my place does not have the toilets facing the mirrors.

2. Toilet paper must always be place on the roll so it rolls over the top towards you. Anything else is wrong and is flat out annoying. I am still trying to work with my wife on this topic. She is a under roller, and it really bugs me. If she is the one that exchanges the toilet paper I am constantly having to swith it so it rolls over the top. I am hoping with time, she will get there. So for all you "under" rollers--stop doing it. It is wrong. Be an "over" roller.

3. How much time is an "okay" time to spend in the bathroom? 2 minutes? 10? I need to know.

Holla back.

American Idol

I was 3 for 4. Ozzie Smith's kid got screwed.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005


Here are my predictions for who is going home this week on American Idol...

1. Constantine-his rockin' days are done
2. Travis-the Bobby Brown song killed him

1. Janay-should have been gone last week
2. Amanda-she is hot, but her performance was not

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Ribbons and Bracelets

I can't take it anymore. All of these magnetic ribbons and all of these different colored bracelets that everyone is wearing have got to go. There is a ribbon and a bracelet for everything. Now don't get me wrong I support the troops and I hope someone, some where finds a cure for breast cancer, but I am sorry. All of these people are walking around with a bracelet of every color and they don't even know what they are supporting. I am guessing the ELCA will have a rainbow colored bracelet coming your way some time soon.

I see all of these cars with ribbons driving around. They have anti-Bush bumper stickers, with a smile Jesus loves you bumper sticker next to it, with a huge ribbon saying "Support Your Troops".

I can't take it anymore. The flags lasted for how long after 9/11? How long will the ribbons and the bracelets last?

Let me just say this. If you have a bracelet and you are thinking about buying another one. Please step away from the counter. If you have more than one magnetic ribbon on your car, please go take one off. Don't spread yourselves too thin.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Check This Out

Here is my friend Jaz's website. Go there and check it out. He is a great poet, a great artist, and a great guy.

The Hawkeyes and My Bet

Some of you still may be recovering from the huge win the Hawks had in the Bowl game. I mean, could you believe the last play of that game? I was screaming running around my family room in awe of what I just saw. Another buddy of mine actually put his shoulder through a wall in his house. Not to mention they beat the LSU Tigers. LSU, the same team that was the National Champion just last year.

This is a great thing, however for me it is getting a little scary.

I have friends that are crazy Hawk fans. I mean these guys sleep, eat, drink, and dream Iowa football. Now I am a Hawk fan as well, but not even close to these guys. Every year I have to hear why the Hawks are going to win the Big 10 and why they probably will get to the National Championship game. I appreciate their loyality, and their drive to see the Hawks do well, but sometimes it gets old. I have seen their hopes and dreams crushed so many times. So a few years ago I made a bet. Here is the bet.

If the Hawkeyes ever win the National Championship in football I will run from Dike, Iowa to Cedar Falls, Iowa in a pink thong bikini.

That is right! You heard it here.

However, now I am starting to get a little concerned. The Hawks are good, really good. They are evil. The defense pounds the crap out of people and the offense is not shabby at all. They have the X factor.

Next year some polls I have seen have the Hawks ranked at #2.

So in the next few years if you happen to be driving around the Cedar Falls, Iowa area and you see some guy running in a pink thong bikini, it is me. Just smile, wave, and yell GO HAWKS.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Cologne Choice

The sense of smell is one of the greatest senses we possess. How you smell is key. The scent of a person is one of the key factors in whether you are attractive to another person or not. There for you need to know what scent is right for you, if any.

I personally am very big on colognes. I know some guys say that cologne is for "girly men", but I disagree. I think you need to have at least 3 different kinds, and one that is your distinct scent. When people smell it, they automatically think of you. I personally have about 20 different colognes, and have not really narrowed down what one scent is for me. I don't know which one I would say is "me".

People often ask me what scent I am wearing or want me to recommend something for them. So it is with great enthusiasm I recommend Burberrys Brit. It is a great smelling cologne. It smells fresh and clean. To me it has a hint of baby powder to it.

I don't have this cologne yet, and according to my wife I will never own it because she thinks it is horrible. However, I will own it very soon. It smells too good, and I have to smell me more than she does.

Some of you might be asking, "What good does it do if a girl does not like the smell?" My opinion is this...if you think you smell good and you are feeling good about yourself, you are going to be more confident. As we all know confidence attracts people more than any cologne scent ever will.


Let me first start by saying I suck. I guess I know nothing about musical talent. For two weeks now, I have only been 50% correct with my American Idol predictions. Wait, on second thought let me say this...America you know nothing about musical talent. How can America have voted off Aloha instead of Janay? Were they watching?

The guys are far more talented than the women in this competition. It will be interesting though to see how America continues to vote. I think Mr. Fedorov and Janay will be gone next week, but we will see how they perform. They may just fool me.

Well that's it for this weeks American Idol report. Out.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Who Is Going Home?

Okay, so last week I was two for four. This week I am feeling just as confident as last week. Tonight we will find out who is packing up their stuff and heading home on American Idol. Here are my predictions for who is going home.

First, we will start with the guys.
1. Anthony Fedorov-the kid is a nice kid, and a favorite for some because of what he had gone through, but Anthony is not even close to as talented as the rest of the guys. Later Anthony.

2. Joeseph Murena-even though this guy has the boy band looks, he is out of there. This guy is cheesy, and needs to be singing in some lounge in Vegas.

Now for the girls.
1. Celena Raye-just didn't sound good. Yes, she looks very good, but her singing last night was poor. Later baby.

2. Janay Castine-this little girl from Georgia came out last night trying to her thing, but in my opinion she bought herself a one way ticket home. Oh yeah, one more piece of advice Janay. NEVER EVER WEAR A SHIRT THAT SHOWS YOUR STOMACH AGAIN!